Sympathy For The Devil

I have finally gotten a domain name and hosting set up. So this will be my last blog here. The rest will be located at www.cr13.com

After taking a few days to collect myself, I have decided to resume my normal blog duties. Halloween went by uneventful. I fired three people at The Retail Store, and helped install a new heating and air unit in my home. Sidebar: How butch is that? Hit some girl on a bicycle because she was in the middle of the road. It was the most traumatic day of my life and she wants to make it about her leg. Hello Selfish Girl? What about the front end of my truck where you scratched the paint? Because you know insurance isn’t going to pay for it.

I almost got fired at County General because a co-worker got mad when I coughed on her door knob, stuck her cell phone in my armpit and rub her keyboard on my butt. Yeah she’s a loon.

So all in all, it has been a pretty uneventful week.

Spent better half of my Sunday morning at County General designing my new layout for this blog. I think I did a fairly good job with the limited resources at my disposal. But I feel that Notepad and Paintbrush when used by a master such as myself, can, with a vast amount of time, pull off a Picasso. Keep in mind this is just the Beta. I plan on moving my blog to my own domain name shortly. Just have to find a good blog engine.

As a special treat, here is a list of states I have visited:

While at work at The Retail Store, get message that the boss wanted to speak with me. Thinking I have done something wrong, immediately begin thinking of possible excuses and who I can use as an alibi. Upon entering the managers office I am shocked to discover that Carol is dressed as a vampire for a Halloween costume party that she is about to attend. Carol informs me that they are short on managers and would like to know if would be interested in taking a managerial position. Immediately respond with yes. As any thing with power and more money is great.

Am so excited, I take the rest of the day off and call Little Caesar’s Pizza on my way home and tell them I want twenty pepperoni and sausage pizzas. When they ask for my name, I told them that I am with the sheriff’s department and that we are having a Halloween party. I hope the sheriff’s office likes my surprise.

Decided to call out of work today for the simple fact I was feeling much better from my congestion. So call up friend Jamie to go out for a night on the town. We started out our friend Jessica’s house for dinner with her boyfriend. But things turned sour quick when Jessica’s boyfriend, Jason (an overly active environmentalist and possibly the queerest guy I know that has sex with women), hit on Jamie. Needless to say the night ended with food in everyone’s hair. Jamie and I left Jessica’s to head over to the porn store. Jamie and I like to go in on the weekend nights to see all the pedophiles and geeks that are in there. At the end of the night headed to Steak-n-Shake and could barely keep our eyes open as the days events were so exhausting. Here are some of the more memorable quotes from the evening. I will leave you to draw your own conclusions as to what the rest of the conversation was like.

"Your Barbie just tea bagged a Care Bear!!" - Adam, while playing with Jessica's stuffed animals

"For America Recycles Day, I set a kitten on fire, because that little fucker totally looked like it was about to litter." - Adam, describing how involved he is.

"What’s wrong Jason? They didn't have a 'really really gay' button, so you just chose 'straight'." - Adam

"It's all pink on the inside." - Jason

"I'm afraid this is one problem liquor won't solve." – Jessica, upon hearing Jason’s pickup line

"I want Gaydar real bad." – Jessica

“Are you having a stroke in installments?” – Adam

"Debbie-gets-it-up-the-ass-dot-com?" - Jamie, upon reading a porn title

"I require Kotex. Tampax makes me irritable." – Jamie (Drunk)

“Chicken-pot, Chicken-pot, Chicken-pot-pie.” – Adam

Adam: “Did you trying ‘Googling’ him?”
Jason: “God no! I have never sucked a dick. It makes me lose my voice.”

“I said NO MAYONNAISE! GOD – BLESS IT!! Oh there is no mayo on this? Thanks!” – Adam

“Hey-for a kitchen rat; he’s pretty hot.” – Jamie

"I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth!" - Jessica

"She's gonna make a chunk of change." – Jamie

"...and smack it, smack it, smack it. OK, I'm done" – Jamie