Sympathy For The Devil

Today I decided to practice walking and carrying myself like a victim. To help things, when I woke up this morning my chest and stomach was killing me like a pimp who didn’t get his cut from his hooker. This was at five o’clock this morning. Still I trooped it to County General for work. All morning long I lived with the pain unknowing why my body suddenly and unexpectedly abandoned me after all I done for it. Finally desert my post and head off to the ER to see what was amiss at noon. Mother calls to ask if I want lunch as her friends have already left her behind as she was helping a patient. Tell her I am disgusted by her offer, as I am never to be a last resort lunch date. Then inform her of my untimely demise in the ER and tell her I need her for loving support, but mainly for her hefty checkbook as I will be running up a huge bill to discover my ailment. By four o’clock, two x-rays and five gallons of blood later it turns out I have a stomach ulcer. I quickly requested pain medications from my doctor so that I can add it to my ever growing collection.

Am sent home around four-thirty with seven prescription medications. Call Jamie up and tell here that I have been released from the ER for a stomach ulcer and want to go out and celebrate that I am not yet dieing. Head off to the greasiest place I can think of for food. Stop at the El Taco Shoppe for some well deserved burritos. Knowing good and well that I am not going to take the prescriptions I was given, as I can not commit to anything, decide to sell my prescriptions to some homeless man outside the El Taco Shoppe for $200.