Sympathy For The Devil

Received panicked call from my cousin Beverly. It would appear that her children were in a horrible car accident. One so shocking and horrific, that it will probably make all three news stations and the newspapers. Her youngest son who is fifteen and doesn’t have his driver’s license took his sister out for a ride. They swerved to miss a fox or cat or small child, not clear on the complete details as of yet, and hit the embankment. Upon hitting the embankment the car bounced back onto the road killing whatever it was they were trying to miss. Then it flipped over and skidded along side the road. Ashley, the cousin that was going along for the ride, had her arm outside the vehicle at the time. Luckily, when the car as on its side at one point or another, her arm wasn’t torn off but it did skin it so much they will probably have to take skin from her ass and transplant it to her arm. She was air lifted to the hospital. Not County General, but our competitor’s as my hospital is too cheap to get its own helicopter. Brandon, the underage driver, was informed by the police that he will be taken to jail upon his medical examination. Tell Beverly to calm down and make sure Ashley gets enough pain medications so I can swipe a few.

I hope that this teaches Brandon a lesson, and that lesson is “Never swerve to miss a fox or cat or small child.”